The most powerful thing we’re given is our ability to laugh. It’s our greatest gift, especially if we can “laugh at ourselves” and not take ourselves so seriously
When you make fun of what frightens you, you get a mastery over it and gain control.
So go ahead, act silly. Let yourself act silly and share it. Laughter is contagious So, when you’re happy and you’re laughing it rubs off on people as everyone has a sense of humor, although few use it to the maximum
When you throw your head back and laugh, you’re not thinking of anything else. Laughter is the best thing you can do for your health. So, the old saying that 'laughter is the best medicine' definitely appears to be true. So, go ahead and just appreciate the importance of laughter.
It's a beautiful spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's got on a close-fitting, low-cut, summer dress with spaghetti straps. As they walk thru the ape exhibit, and pass in front of a very large gorilla which goes ape.
He jumps up on the bars, he grunts, he pounds his chest. He is obviously excited at the sight of the young lady in the sundress. The husband, noticing the ape’s excitement, suggests that his wife tease the ape.
The husband suggests that she pucker her lips and wiggle her bottom.... She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead...
Then her husband suggests that she let one of the straps of her dress slips down....She does and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear down the bars....
Her husband suggests she lift her dress up her thighs and she does. This about drives Mr. Gorilla crazy....
Then quickly the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, flings her inside with the gorilla, slams the door shut and gleefully rubbing his hands together says...... Now, tell him you have a headache.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Marital Humor
A mother had 3 daughters.
They were all getting married within a short time period. The mother was a bit worried on how they were going to cope with sex.. as they never had it before... So, she made them all promise to send her a postcard with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mum was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said.. Good till the last drop.
Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mum took out some of her latest magazines, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
The mother fainted...
They were all getting married within a short time period. The mother was a bit worried on how they were going to cope with sex.. as they never had it before... So, she made them all promise to send her a postcard with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mum was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said.. Good till the last drop.
Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mum took out some of her latest magazines, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
The mother fainted...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Erections And Raisins
A bakery owner hires a young sexy blonde who liked to wear very short sexy skirts and thong panties, not to mention braless tops that showed of her big boobs.
One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the sexy girl and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the sexy girl was a blonde, and that the length of her skirt [or lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread ... on the very top shelf ... he politely says to the hottie, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."
She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view of the thongs and the tits, just as he surmised she would. When the blonde comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.
As the sexy woman retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the sexy blonde seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young sexy woman climb up and down.
After many trips, the blonde is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.
Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the sexy girl and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the sexy girl was a blonde, and that the length of her skirt [or lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread ... on the very top shelf ... he politely says to the hottie, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."
She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view of the thongs and the tits, just as he surmised she would. When the blonde comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.
As the sexy woman retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the sexy blonde seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young sexy woman climb up and down.
After many trips, the blonde is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.
Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Always Keep Your Condoms In Your Car
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful and sexy younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, a regular hottie who wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."
The moral of the story.....
Always keep your condoms in your car !
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, a regular hottie who wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."
The moral of the story.....
Always keep your condoms in your car !
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