Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Who Said Blondes Were Dumb

A lawyer and a sexy blonde with huge boobs, are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.

Curiosity gets the better of the lawyer and asks the blonde with sexy legs and huge tits about her profession. The hottie tells him that she is a model

Satisfied, the lawyer introduces himself and asks the hot blonde whether she would like to play a fun game.

The sexy model just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa."

Again, the blonde model politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what is the answer!?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Now, who said blondes were dumb !

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Big Shit No Chief

There was this chief somewhere in the dark continent... and he was constipated....

Aftr the 1st day, he send a runner to go get his personal medicine man...

The medicine man asked the runner..what the problems was... he says...

"Big Chief, No Sh*t"...

So he send the Chief some local laxatives and told the runner to tell the chief to take 2 pills...

Unfortunately there was no improvement in the chief's condition... so he send the runner again to the medicine man...

This time he told the runner to tell the chief to take 4 pills...

Again there was no improvement and the chief had problem cr*ppin...

Nextday, he screamed at the runner and said .. if there is no improvement by tomorrow, both you and the medicine man would be tomorrow's supper..

The runner, scared stiff explained this to the doctor..

The Doctor calmly advised him to tell the chief to take 8 pills, knowing the strength of the pills..

The runner on the way thought, instead of the 8 pills, what if the Chief took the entire bottle... this way, there would be adefinite result and he could surely save his head..

So he advised the chief.. to consume the entire bottle..

Next day, the runner came running faster than usual to the medicine man....

When asked about the problemm...he couldn't speak... finally when he came to..

He says... "Big Sh*t No Chief"....

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Two Nuns

There were two nuns.

One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL).

It was getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past
thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It’s not working!

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank the lord you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me....

SM: What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up....

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants....

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down........

And those of you who thought it would be dirty, Pray for forgiveness.