Saturday, March 29, 2008

Coloring your pubic hair

Coloring your pubic hair is one of a hairdressers biggest jokes.

When we have a client we always think shall we mix a batch to match the snatch. It sounds so funny. Believe it or not the clients who want to mix the batch to match.......are men. I know some men that you wouldn't believe have it done.

The dye that you use on the area should be all natural and a low amount of ammonia. There are a lot of products with less the 5% ammonia. Chi, Paul Mitchell are two permanent hair colors. You can also use semi permanent. It will wash out quicker, but it will not itch as much.

If you are a married woman or man and want to stimulate your partner go for it. It is easier then shaving the area. You can imagine how itchy that would be. I can tell you from experience. Stubble in that spot could be very itchy.

It is a lot safer then getting a tattoo. Your partner will be in shock for awhile, but they get over it. It is a turn on.

While you are at it you might as well get a heart shape hair cut.

Dying your pubic hair should be done with a dye brush, not a bottle. The dye should be mixed with your favorite color. The area should be freshly shampooed and blown dry.

Leave the color on for a good 30 min. Shampoo and condition just like you would do your hair.

It is also wise to take a skin test after five min. To make sure you are not allergic to it. If you start to swell and turn red in the area then take it off immediately. Another allergic reaction would be having trouble breathing. It happens to people sometimes when you color the hair on your head.

So you can imagine how sensitive it is in that area. It is a chemical and you are putting it in a very very sensitive area of your body. So please take a skin test and do not take it for granted that you will not have a reaction.

Have fun with color and be safe.

The Lawyer & The Dead Man

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer, doctor and a priest - at his bedside and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash.

He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelops in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.

A week later the man died. At the wake, the lawyer and doctor and clergyman each concealed an envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell.

By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the priest, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelope he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a mission in South America. He asked for their forgiveness.

The doctor, moved by the gentle Clergyman's sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said he too could not bring himself to waste the money so frivolously when it could be used to benefit others.

By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. "I am the only one who kept my promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained the full amount.

The other men looked down in embarrassment and the lawyer continued, "Indeed, only I honored the deathbed wishes of our great friend. My envelope contained my personal check for the entire $25,000."

Friday, March 28, 2008

The blonde and the rancher

A blonde dyed her hair black, and thought she looked so great she decided to go for a drive in the country to celebrate.

After a bit, she was driving by a sheep ranch and stopped to look at the sheep which she liked very much.

She went over the the rancher and said, "If I can tell you how many are in this field right now, will you let me have one?" The rancher said, "If you can count that fast, sure!"

The blonde said: "524." The rancher, amazed, told her to take her pick, for that was the exact count. After a few minutes, the blonde came back with her animal.

The rancher said, "If I can tell you what color your hair was before you dyed it, could I have my dog back?"

Vehicle in heaven

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.

The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife a lot". He gets a scooter.

Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.

He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".

Can you get married in heaven ?

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident.

The couple is sitting outside heavens' gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter.

While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven.

St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?"

St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple.

"Geez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here!

Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"

Lawyer At The Gates !

A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.

Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"

Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,

"Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Head at the bar

A man is waiting for wife to give birth.

The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.

The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief.

The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a-head."

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

What should they say?

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Wow! He's moving!"

The name of your wife

St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.

"Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler.

"I was a good father," he answers.

"Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance."

St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question.

The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family.

But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon.

At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let?s get out of here."

Pick Heaven or Hell

One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St.Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in." said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good- bye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and Filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you're staff."

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Don't hit it again !

Paddy was found dead in his back yard, and as the weather was a bit on the warm side, the wake was held down to only two days, so his mortal remains wouldn't take a bad turn.

At last his friends laid him in the box, nailed it shut & started down the hill into the churchyard. As it was a long, sloping path and the mourners were appropriately tipsy, one fellow lurched into the gatepost as they entered the graveyard.

Suddenly a loud knocking came from in the box. Paddy was alive! They opened the box up and he sat up, wide eyed, and they all said, Sure, it's a miracle of God! All rejoiced & they went back and had a few more drinks but later that day, the poor lad died.

Really died. Stone cold dead.

They bundled him back into his box, and as they huffed and puffed own the hill the next morning, the priest said, "Careful now, boys; mind ye don't bump the gatepost again"

The Irish Connection

There once was an proud Irishman named Pat, who went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Who are you?"

and Pat replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St. Patrick's Day,died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade."

St. Peter said to Pat: "Yes, this is true! Here's a little green cloud for you to drive around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you push this button here, will play 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' Enjoy it,Pat. Have a good time in heaven."

Pat jumps on his little green cloud,punches the button, and heads out with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his little green cloud around. But on the third day, he's driving down Expressway H-1 with the harp playing full blast when, all of a sudden, a Jewish man in a pink and white two-tone cloud with tail fins roars past him. And in the back of this cloud is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music.

Pat makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven Expressway and charges back to the Pearly Gates. He says, "St. Peter, my name is Pat,I'm a proud Irishman. I was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St.Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I get this tiny, insignificant little green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song, 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.

But, there's a Jew over there. He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a huge organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat the Irishman, want to know why!

St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says: "Pat, shush! He's the Boss's Son!"

The preacher and the driver

After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed that a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than he.

"I don't understand," he complained to God. "I devoted my entire life to my congregation."

"Our policy here in heaven is to reward results," God explained. "Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?"

"Well," the minister had to admit, "some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time."

"Exactly," said God, "and when people rode in this man's taxi, they not only stayed wake, they even prayed.......

Monday, March 24, 2008

Happiness is holiness

Three men died and were taken by God to the top of a cliff. God said to them that since they had been such great outstanding citizens of earth that they would be given one chance to become anything that they desired.

The first man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an eagle." Instantly he was changed into an eagle and soared off into the sunset.

The second man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an owl." Instantly he was changed into an owl and soared off into the sunset.

The third man ran towards the edge of the cliff, tripped on a rock, and shouted, "Oh shit ..."

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Watching for suicide

Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?

I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him.

Apparently, just to anger him.

Jest A While

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much.

The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation.

This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs--she's coming downstairs, he's heading up.

"Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide."

"I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"

Happy Easter To You All


How many cyber friends are there whom we’ve never met and are unlikely to and how long would it take before you trust them enough to support them or make a decision.

For them and for the others out there......

A Happy Easter to you all.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Get your betty ready

If you're considering dying your pubic hair, fear not - you are not the first.

There is a company out of New York named Betty, and they make haircolor specifically for your "hair down there".

Normal hair color contains ingredients like peroxide and ammonia. I'm certain I wouldn't want either of those chemicals near any part of my body that is sensitive, and most certainly not the most sensitive spot.

The Betty company was started by Nancy Jarecki, after sitting in a Rome salon and seeing women discreetly leaving with a paper bag, which she later discovered was hair color for each of them to take home and color their pubic hair. Upon further discussion back in the states with a friend who owned a salon, she found that many women are looking for this unique hair color product, whether to cover grays or to change their color for aesthetic reasons.

Betty makes hair color in black, brown, blonde and auburn. For the more adventurous, Betty makes a hot pink color, with other fun colors to follow (check out the holiday stencils that are available online.) And the entire line was developed under the consultation of a toxicologist to ensure the safety of the product.

Many women have used traditional hair color for coloring all of their hair. And now, thanks to Nancy, there is a safe, natural-looking, no-mess alternative to regular hair coloring. And at $20 a box, any woman would much rather trust their pubic hair to them.

Now all there is to do is go to www.bettybeauty.com , choose a color, and "Get your betty ready!"